Seeing the spoons instead of just setting the standards.
(The words and opinions of this blog are that of the author and her experiences. This is not professional advice, and should not be used in lieu of that.)
This blog is to introduce you to a new worksheet I have created on behalf of an incredibly passionate Wellbeing Leader I recently crossed paths with. I’d love to name drop but I haven’t reached out for their approval to do so yet.
In May of 2025 I had the incredible opportunity to speak at the South Australian Department for Education’s Student Wellbeing Conference and I still have stars in my eyes about that. To be in a room filled with the most passionate educators who are factoring students holistically was indescribable, these people are doing so much and still want to be doing so much more. I presented about Wellbeing Leaders having a toolkit of varied resources at the ready, as a lot of their work is on the spot thinking and reactive to the situation.
I also gave some insight of what it like trying to navigate neuronormative environments like school as a neurodivergent person, and used Christine Miserandino’s Spoon Theory to create empathic understanding for capacity.
Spoons are a metaphor for capacity.
The social construct of CAPACITY and the variations in capacity seem to be hard for many to grasp, not in the sense that it exists but in how complex and varied it is. I believe the best was to create understanding is through empathy, but can only be empathic when we are able to place ourselves in another’s position, meaning having a degree of insight. I’d love to take a moment to mention to not be empathic to a person or situation is not automatically a bad thing, as there is still sympathy and/or compassion that can be expressed - both of which are just as important. This blog is here to provide some insight from my perspective, to hopefully spark empathy in how different life is for each of us, that we should never have a reference of ‘normal’ or ‘standard’ to unfairly hold others to.
Ignoring that capacity is individualised is a major contributor today’s burn out culture.
I’d love to run some key points here, so if anything was taken away from this blog, it’s this:
Capacity is not observable from a physical perspective.
Limited capacity is often incorrectly identified as low resilience.
Capacity is continuously variable and impacted heavily by environment.
The cost of tasks, chores, actions, activities from a capacity perspective is again individual.
So what affects our capacity? A lot of internal and external factors contribute. A great way to give insight into capacity is using the Spoon Theory, which has been adopted by many as a way to explain and give understanding. You may have heard people say ‘I don’t have the spoons for that’, or ‘I’ve run out of spoons today’.
The Spoon Theory exists thanks to Christine Miserandino, an amazing writer, speaker, and Lupus advocate, I have a more detailed blog about Spoon and capacity (click here) or checking out her website https://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/ .
Meet My New Free Downloadable Resource Sheet!
This Wellbeing Leader was inspired by The Spoon Theory part of my presentation and in true ‘think on your feet style’ that seems to be a personality trait of these educators, sketched up the concept of the worksheet you see below. I love creating what is needed, as each school environment is going to have unique culture, strengths, hurdles, and challenges. The people supporting these spaces are as unique as the circumstances themselves, so compatible resources is key for connection.
How Do I Envision This Activity Sheet Working?
This sheet is downloaded, printed and coloured in (if needed).
3 versions of the same sheet with a different key message reminder at the bottom.
In pre-coloured or black and white for the student to further customise through colouring in (a great activity to do while talking and brainstorming about capacity and supports).
The empty squares are then filled in with regulation and support strategies relevant to the spoon groups (state of overwhelm, level of capacity) together in a brainstorming and future planning approach.
This is done with the Wellbeing Teacher/Leader, or an Educator that the Student is connected to.
Ideally a 1 on 1 session in a relaxed environment. It should not feel rigid or formal, but connective and supportive.
This is not to be done in a time of overwhelm or dysregulation.
When completed, the sheet is then laminated.
This lets the sheet stay protected and be a little more hardwearing / durable as it now includes incredibly valuable information.
The sheet can be physically used repeatedly to ‘mark off’ and check where the student is at for the day with a whiteboard marker.
This builds the regulation toolbox reference for the student (and educator) to refer to for their capacity/spoons of the day.
Pre-approved supports and regulations of the students choice for when they are low in spoons or dysregulated and do not have the capacity to decide a strategy.
This is not built to manage, but to support.
Capacity and regulation are not things we innately are, it comes with learning, trial, error, sometimes wins, sometimes missed opportunities - we even go through this as adults.
A great start of the day check in with Wellbeing or Inclusive Education support.
Grabbing 10-15 minutes at the start of the day to check in, catch up, and prep for the day, particulalry for students at risk or already engaging in services for additional help.
For students who are needing that extra check in on, starting the school day with a check in so support can factor in if additional support will be needed (moving from reactive to proactive).
Teaching and demonstrating forward planning and preparation to minimise negative impact of environments and situations - a great true lesson in wellbeing.
BUT. Just because thats how I envision this worksheet working, real world varies as we all know. Use this however it’s needed - as long as it remains supportive and empowering and not coercive or controlling (I doubt anyone hanging out reading my blogs would be that way inclined).
Always look past intention and into FEELING, this is KEY.
One last thing, at the Wellbeing Conference I took the time to listen to other speakers - one being Dr. Paul Prichard. He spoke about not just focusing on the intentions behind a program or a support - but also how it FEELS. Take into account the power dynamics at play. As lovely and warm and kind and funky dressed you may be, remember Educators are seen as an authority figure and that is always at the forefront of student and carers minds (consciously and/or subconsciously), so be mindful of not just your goals, intentions, and wants in supporting - but ALSO what atmosphere are you creating for that connection to form in.
If you want to review the FEELING of a resource, or want a resource created yourself to support the intentions of your goal, I have two options when it comes to making activity sheets or resources for others:
You can book me to design / create a resource or activity sheet for you - we’ll design a draft and make it visually personalised to match your target audience. This booking takes priority and the end product is yours to use.
I make the resource for FREE - but in doing so it must become available FREE to all. Adding to my Free Mindful Resources shared drive. This is completed as I have capacity (or I could say the spare spoons) to do so.
You may have an envisioned sheet, or maybe a regularly recurring event / situation that is needing explanation / reflection support. We can brainstorm what you need and collaboratively come up with solutions, just send me an email with a brain dump of all the facts and thoughts to hello@nellharris.com
